


Incorrect SCP

by Callie_Girl



Category: SCP - Containment Breach, SCP Foundation
Genre: scp incorrect quotes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-02-27 19:20:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18745456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Callie_Girl/pseuds/Callie_Girl
Summary: SCP incorrect quotes.





	1. 1

Random D Class; Oh God!!  
343; *appearing, hanging upside down from the chandelier, holding a cup of tea* You called?

 

Any lane is the fast lane if you have enough cops chasing you.  
-035

 

035; kids  
035; in this world it’s either yeet or be yeeted  
239; I’m literally begging you to shut up.

 

Kidnapper; we have your son.  
049, looking at 590; no you don’t.  
Kidnapper; then who just asked for chocolate milk and made us cut off the crust of his sandwich??  
049; my God, they have Sock.

 

035; I have a plan!  
049; a good plan?  
035; Let’s not get ahead of ourselves

 

590; [sneaks into house wearing a huge coat]  
049; what with the coat?  
Coat; *meows*  
590; … drugs.

 

[airhorn sound]  
[another airhorn sound]  
035; wait… this isn’t deodorant.

 

134; how long are we gonna just stand here and watch him do that?  
049; just give him a minute.  
035; *forcefully and repeatedly pushing a door that clearly says pull*

 

035, singing; I’m siiinging in the rain-  
*Thunder crashes*  
035, running inside; THAT WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA!

 

035; hey kiddo, what’s up?  
706; teenage rebellion.  
035; Fuck yeah! Stick it to the old people.

 

049; In the words of one of my actual friends, “Ya basic”  
173; …  
049; It’s a human insult. It’s devastating. You’re devastated right now.

 

035; I’m telling you, Molotov cocktails work. Any time I had a problem, I threw a molotov cocktail at it and BOOM! Right away, I had a different problem.  
049-j; he makes a strong case.

 

706; So, you two got kicked out of the movies. What for?  
284-1; We were yelling diving scores during the Titanic as people jumped off the boat.  
284-2; That last guy had a solid eight, let me tell you.

 

706; well well well… if it isn’t the feelings I’ve been trying to avoid

 

040; say hello to my little friend…  
040-1j appears.  
040; this is Fred!

 

*during an argument*  
035; ANYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH IS STUPID!  
049; 035.

 

590, writing; hey, what rhymes with orange?  
706; no it doesn’t.

 

049; I’ve only known 134 for an hour but if anything happens to her I will kill everyone in this facility and then myself.

 

284-1; I steal things.  
040; What kind of things?  
284-1; ….  
040; Do you take requests?

 

239; Listen here, you little shits-  
239; Not you, Stella. You’re an angel and we’re glad you’re here.


	2. 2

“Pyromaniacs have fiery tempers.”  
-035

 

"crispity crunchity peanut buttery."  
-035

 

“Whoever burned the Library of Alexandria, your mom’s a ho.”  
-049

 

035; *does something stupid*  
049; I… I am at a loss for WORDS-  
035, narrating; Despite being at a loss for words, he lectured me for the rest of the day.

 

"I can’t believe the heat from the sun travelled 149.6 million kilometres just to melt my fucking chocolate bar."  
-035

 

"My demons are chasing me and they’re doing the Naruto run."  
-035

 

343; I have never cried about anything!  
049; Just yesterday you were crying about snakes.  
343, tearing up; They don’t have any /arms/

 

"It’s important to be well rested before committing arson."  
-035

 

049; I don’t know how to fly one of these.  
239; Use one of your PhD’s!  
049; None of them are for flying alien spaceships!

 

"035, please don’t pronounce ‘hors d'oeuvres’ as ‘horse divorce’ again."  
-049

 

134; 049, I drew a thing for you.  
049, solemnly; I would die for you.

134; I would die for you too.  
035; I can’t believe I’m the one who has to say this but No OnE iS dYiNg OkAy?!

 

049; Hey, where’s my bag?

Doctor; *opens bag at the other side of the facility*  
134; *pokes her head out* What the heck?!  
Doctor; *screams so loudly that 049 hears him.*

 

"Why must the cute ones (me) suffer?"  
-035

 

049; Let me see what you have!  
134; A /KNIFE/  
035; Good.  
049; … nO

 

035, handing 134 a mug of beer after a containment breach; Good work.  
049; Sock, she’s four years old!  
035; Oh! *hands her a second mug* You’re a growing kid.  
049; nO

 

049; Doctor Bright, what are the signs of teenage depression?  
Bright; Why?  
049; 105 dropped her camera and said: “Why has God forsaken me?”

 

105; Ugh! I’m so glad today is over! I need a drink to take the edge off.  
134, who heard a joke from some of the D Class; Bleach?  
049, all the way across the facility; *looks up from his book with concerned dad eyebrows.*

 

035; You can’t expect me to stab somebody on an empty stomach!  
049; I would prefer you not stab anybody no matter the circumstances.

 

343; This will pass. She’ll eventually just burn herself out.  
239; That’s what you think! I am an eternal flame, baby!

 

134; *eating cinnamon bun*  
035; *gasps* Cannibalism!  
134; *confused chewing.*

 

"Oh, what? So only roosters are allowed to start the day with screaming?"  
-096

 

"I have an amazing idea, starting with we PUNCH THEM."  
-035

 

035; When you turn 18, people are gonna try and tell you to buy drugs or cigarettes because you can. No. You know what else is legal to buy at 18? Blades. Get yourself a damn sword. A big knife is also okay.  
134; Okay.  
049; Stella no-

 

706; Well, it looks like I’ll be drinking my sorrows away.  
706; *opens juice box*

 

706; Oh, how the mighty have fallen.  
105; You need to chill. It’s just a dropped chocolate bar. It’s not even out of the wrapper.

 

049; Need a hug?  
035; What, no! Of course not!  
Five seconds later…  
035; Actually, yes, I would like that hug now.

 

105; Yesterday I accidentally kicked 239 in the face and I couldn’t decide between saying “I’m so sorry” or “are you okay?”  
105; So I panicked and yelled: “aRE YOU SORRY?!?”  
105; It took her an hour to get up and 134 still hasn’t stopped laughing at me.

 

A clownboy is a mix between a cowboy and a clown. Clownboys say “yeehonk.”  
-035

 

035; But how do we fight? We have no sticks, no rocks, no bears…  
049; Bears?

 

“You know how Americans do the Pledge of Allegiance every day? That’s some apocalypse shit righ’ there.”  
-035

 

“Note to self; waking up by choking on your own blood is a terrible way to wake up.”  
-035

 

035, shining flashlight under bed; 049, are you ready to come out at socialize?  
049; *demonic screeching*  
035; Understandable, have a nice day.

 

049; I’ve never been one for romance.  
343; 035 gave you a rose yesterday and you started crying.  
049; that doesN’T COUNT

 

049; *cooking*  
530; *crunch*  
049; …  
530; …  
049; spit it out.  
530; *crunchcrunchcrunchcrunch*  
049; DON’T CHEW FASTER-

 

*power goes out*  
Dr Bright; I can’t see anything!  
134; Oh no what a nightmare.

 

“I knew you were coming. But you will never obliterate me, because I am unoblite— unoble— unobitababl... You can’t kill me.”  
-035

 

035; If you water water it grows.  
049; It’s three am.  
035; Look, I even bought some to demonstrate-  
049; How did you get into my room?

 

035, holding a banana like a phone; Oh, 049! Just the guy I was looking for! There’s a call for you. *hands over banana*  
049, barely awake with a blanket over his shoulders; *into banana* Hello?… *hands it back* They hung up.  
049; *walks to kitchen in search of coffee*  
134 and 590; *dying of silent laughter*

 

“I don’t futzin’ believe it!”  
-035

 

076-2; *screeching*  
073; What’s wrong?!  
076-2; *LOUDER SCREECHING*  
073; That’s not an answer!!

 

073; So this person is bugging me-  
076-2; Kill them.  
073; What? No-  
076-2, grabbing a sword; Then I’ll kill them for you.

 

“Come on! Are ya gonna dance or are ya gonna fight, ya hard-boiled turtle-slapper?”  
-035

 

076-2; book?  
073; Oh. You wanna read this? *hands him the book*  
076-2; *whacks it on his own head*  
073; what?  
075-2; book

 

073; … why are you taped to the ceiling?  
070; It’s Sunday.  
073; what does that even mean?!

 

035; Carpenters go to boarding school.  
070; Wow, wood you believe that?  
105; I saw what you did there.  
076-2; Tree.  
073; … fantastic contribution.

 

076-2, having consumed enough caffeine to kill twenty humans, crawling around the room rapidly; W̬̗̖̻̰̭͙HE͖̗͔̤ͅR̯̞͎̪̣͚̻E̦̙̤̙͝ ̞̞̳͚̼̰͜A̹̺̮͙̘ͅR͡E̠̠̺ ҉̝T̢̜͍̝ͅH͏̺͓͈̯̼E͏̝͉̗͇̼̟ ͉͚̮͘F̭̣͓̗͔̝̱R̬͖̫͕E͔͇̻̰͖͇͢S̙H̘̼̙͈ ̮̩͞C̣͙̼̗̺͕̞H̸̰̩̗I͍̝̙͕̣̞͘Ḷ̢D̰R̡͍͔͔̭̟E͡N͏͍̙͓̲̭͚͖ ̙̻͓̙̺̫F͖̜O̴̩̤R̤͚̫͖̬ ̯͖M̧̖͇̹͇͙E̳͙͎͠ ̩̰͚̫T͔̲͚͝O̡͇̱̳̻ ̧F͉͇̘̬E͔̙͍̮͎A͓͈͉̮̪͖͕͘S̬̲Ṱ͚̭͝ ̘̖U͍̘P̢̳̜͇̻̦O̜N̞͚̰̯͠?̣̯?̠̹̹̺̤ͅ??̸̖

073, holding a cross and backing into the corner; whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuckwHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCK

 

134; *staring off into space*  
035; Whatcha doin, kid?  
134; What happens if a kangaroo jumps on a trampoline?  
035; *also stares off into space*

 

035 to 134; *breakdancing gently* What’s wrong?

 

706; I just slept for twelve hours and I could sleep for twelve more.  
049; Child… that’s a coma.  
706; Sounds festive.

 

105; You need to stop doing weird things. Going out might help.  
590; I went to the park today.  
105; There you go! I hope you got something from that!  
590, opening his coat; Yeah. This duck.

 

“My DNA test results came back positive. I definitely have DNA.”  
-035

 

D Class; I’m going to kill you!  
049; Wait, let me ask Stella.  
D Class; that’s not-  
049; she said no.

 

239; You’re supposed to bang your fist against mine.  
134; Why?  
239; I’m told it’s a widely accepted gesture for mutual success.

 

134; *falls*  
049; I suppose I shall have to add gravity to my list of enemies.

 

035; remember, if you’re getting mugged, what do you say to stay as safe as possible? I’ll be the robber, you guys act like it’s real.  
035; Give me all your money if you want to live!  
590; Bold of you to assume I have money.  
706; Bold of you to assume I want to live.

 

035; don’t you miss the vivid imagination of childhood?  
049; I have never had one.  
035; an imagination or a childhood?

 

049, at any small inconvenience: I dedicate my time to our Lord and saviour, Jesus Christ, and this is the thanks I get?!

 

134; *falls down the stairs* /FUCK!/  
049, on the other side of the facility; *looks up from his latest surgery*

 

049; Thanks to 035, 134 has recently taken up cursing.  
049; Yesterday, she referred to bedtime as a “fucking crisis.”


	3. 3

“I AM THE LEAST DRAMATIC PERSON WHO HAS EVER ROAMED THE FACE OF THE EARTH.”  
-035

 

“Due to personal reasons I will be going completely off the fucking rails.”  
-035

 

049; Murder is never the answer!  
035; Of course, murder is a question.  
076-2; And the answer is Y e s.

 

Doctor Bright; Okay! Who let 239 watch Infinity War?!

 

035; I have a science headcanon!  
049; … please… //please//… just call it a hypothesis.

 

073; Why is 049 ranting in French?  
035; I told him a joke about the moon landing being fake and I’m pretty sure he wants to kill me.

 

076-2; the best part of an oreo is the black cookie part and not the frosting part, deal with it  
073; darkness without light is an abyss. light without darkness is blinding. you cannot have a coin with one side.  
076-2; … yo Socrates it’s a fucking cookie.

 

“Every major city has banned me from using their public transit system except Melbourne, Australia. I have no idea what their breaking point is, but mark my words, I will fucking find it.”  
-035

 

073; I’ve only had 191 for an hour and a half but if anything were to happen to her I would kill everyone in this facility and then myself.  
076-2; Don’t you think that’s a little dramatic?  
073; 191, can you come here for a second?  
191; *walks through the door and trips over her own feet*  
076-2; I can’t believe I agree with you.

 

“Oh, so when other people go outside it’s ‘good for their health’ and ‘highly recommended.’ It’s only when I do it that it’s a ‘containment breach’ and a ‘high-level threat to public safety and security,’ huh?”  
\- 076-2

 

035, playing a ukelele badly and singing; Hey how ya doing I’m doing just fine okay I lied I’m dying inside.

 

049; my favourite food is spaghetti, what about you?  
035; Gasoline.  
049; That’s not a food and THERE IS A PROBLEM-

 

049: how on Earth do you have so much luck?  
590: spunk, hubris, and delusions of immortality  
035, wiping a tear from his eye: he’s all grown up

 

035; Pools are so weird. We dig holes in the ground, fill them with a substance we can’t breathe in, and then spend about an hour at a time trying not to drown.  
073; Please never speak to me ever again.

 

049; *points to 049-2* Could a depressed person make THIS?!

 

076-2; Hey 049, did you know that “thot” means “thoughtful person”?  
049; Really?

[later]

049; Thanks so much for helping me figure out my phone. You’re such a thot.  
035, wheezing; I’m a WHAT?

 

035: Unbelievable! A little kid with a knife! How irresponsible!  
035: Here, take this motorsaw instead.

 

073; 191 is crying what do I do?  
049; Start with hugs.  
073; … with /what/?

 

049; Did you really have to hit me with the leg of a corpse? Was that truly necessary?  
035; Necessary, no. Hilarious, yes.

 

049; There is no such thing as a stupid question.  
035; What′s in mango salsa?  
049; I stand corrected.

 

076-2; Why are your hand purple?  
073; That is an excellent question.

 

076-2, staring down a dark hallway; do you ever wonder what’s in the dark that you can’t see?  
073; No, but I am now, thanks a lot.

 

035; Are you ok?  
049; what is “ok?”  
035; you should get some rest, love…  
049; my resting heart rate registers as a panic attack.

 

073; So what’s it like, dating 049?  
035; Once, I asked him for a glass of water whiles he was pissed at me, and he brought me a glass full of ice and said “wait”

 

076-2 to 073; God told me that if I have nothing nice to say then I should say nothing at all.  
076-2; But God isn’t here and you’re a weenie.

 

049, petting 529; cat.

 

049; Excuse me, but there’s a sad bird in my wine.  
035; Dude, that’s just your reflection.

 

035; I’m going to McDonald’s, you want anything?  
049; A will to live.  
035; 134 is at school, but I can pick her up if you want.

 

“I'm not anti-social, I'm selectively social and I'm selecting not to be social.”  
-049

 

035; You know what they say; Build a man a fire and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.  
049; Nobody says that.

 

049; Hm. TJ must’ve done the dishes?  
035; How do you know it wasn’t me who did the dishes?  
049; Sock, the last time we were out of clean knives you cut your bagel with a bottle cap.  
049; I don’t even know how you did it!

 

590; How dumb does dad think you are?  
035; Sometimes he gives me pictures of food instead of writing them down on the shopping list.

 

076-2; I have 99 problems and 98 of them are my fault.  
073; What’s the other one?  
076-2; I was born.

 

590; Can I say a bad word?  
049; Sure.  
590, to Clef; You MOTHERFUCKER-

 

049; 035 and I are held together by a force much stronger than love.  
073; Which is?  
049; Both of us need to have the last word.

 

“Look, if you’re counting on me to be the voice of reason & sanity around here, we’re all in very serious trouble.”  
-035

 

049; Mission number two; locate fruit snacks.  
035; Wait. What’s mission number one?  
049; Getting to the actual store, you moron.

 

811; People sometimes look at me weird when I talk to nearby bodies of water.  
811; What they don′t know is that my girlfriend is made of water and likes to be near me.  
Water; *ripples*  
811; She doesn’t like people. 

 

035; I wasn’t that drunk!  
049; You attempted to colour Stella’s entire face with a highlighter because, and I quote, “She is very important.”  
035; But she is!  
049; … True, however-

 

035; I am a walrus!  
049; You are an idiot.

 

035; Will you be the yee to my haw?  
049; I will, on the condition that you never say that again.

 

049; Where is Abel?  
070; Doing stuff.  
049; I don’t like the sound of that. Where is Cain?  
070; Trying to stop Abel.  
049; I see. And whar of 035?  
070; Trying to stop Cain so that he can’t stop Abel.  
049; Which begs the question… What are you doing here?  
070; I’m supposed to stop you from stopping Sock from stopping Cain so that Cain can’t stop Abel from doing stuff.

 

073 to 049; I just wanted to make sure you were okay, ‘cause you are sharpening that knife very intensely.

 

035; I’m sorry, Stella, but you have died. Your eyes were removed and shoved in your nose.  
049; What on-  
134; I don’t have eyes.  
035; …  
035; Stella has survived the night due to unprecedented lack of eyes.  
049; …

 

049; sometimes I let matches burn down to my fingers just to feel something.  
134; *concerned daughter noises*

 

“I wish I was a strawberry and not a person goodnight.”  
-706

 

“My aesthetic is the kid on the playground who tells all the other kids that ring around the rosies is about the black plague.”  
-049

 

Trans girl; *is being oppressed*  
035, waking up in a cold sweat; Something is wrong.

Trans guy; *is being oppressed*  
035; *sneaking out the window with Abels sword,” Something is very wrong.

Nonbinary person; *is being oppressed*  
035, throwing knives at every transphobe he sees* Something is horribly, horribly wrong.

 

035; How much money do you have?  
590; only, like, 69 cents.  
035; You know what that means, right?  
590, tearing up; I don’t have enough money for chicken nuggets!

 

“Forgive me Father for I am back on my bullshit.”  
-Cain, about to murder his dumbass brother again.

 

“Life hack- you can’t be sad if you’re asleep.”  
-076-2

 

035; I’m too gay for this.  
049; For what?  
035; *wildly gestures to everything* ////this////

 

035, petting a jellyfish; It feels tasty.  
049; Okay, back away from the jellyfish.

 

035; This is so sad, 079, play despacito.

 

035; EVERYTHING YOU DO IS GREAT AND I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU!  
590; You’re yelling nice things at me and it’s very confusing.

 

590; Dad, can I storm area fifty-one?  
049; TJ… we live IN Area fifty-one.

 

343; 239 is at that special age where a girl has only one thing on her mind.  
073; Boys?  
239; Homicide.

 

035; I got the twelve gallons of blood you wanted for the Halloween party!  
049; Thank you! Where did you get twelve gallons of fake blood, by the way?  
035; You wanted FAKE blood? Uh-oh…

 

049; You shouldn’t be using a straw.  
035; I know, bad for the environment-  
049; No. It’s just a rather peculiar way to eat spaghetti.


	4. 4

191; I was wondering if you could help me out with something.  
076-2; No problem, I’ll get my sword.  
191; Nope, different thing.

 

049; Yes.  
Clef; Yes SIR.  
049; There’s no need to call me sir, mister Clef.

 

076-2; I would walk through fire for my brother. Well, not fire, because it’s dangerous, but a really humid room. But not too humid, because of my hair.

 

“Oh yes, my criminal record? The only thing illegal I’ve done is absolutely KILLIN it on the dancefloor. Haha, just kidding! I've killed a man.”  
-035

 

073; You left us in the hands of HIM!  
073; No offence.  
Bright; Oh, no, I′m with you.

 

Clef; You’re on thin ice right now.  
134, bending over to touch the floor; No, I’m standing on the floor.  
Clef; It’s a metaphor-  
134; No, I’m pretty sure it’s carpet.

 

035; when you’ve been around as long as I have, you develop a thick skin.  
049; Black is not your colour.  
035; BLACK BRINGS OUT MY EYES YOU PRICK.

 

049; We need to distract the guards.  
035; I got it.  
049; What are you going to do?  
035; I’ll kill them. That should be a good distraction.

 

049; Where are you going?  
706; Hopefully, to my death.  
706; With my luck, just to get a snack.

 

035; Fist me!  
049; What?!  
035; *holds out his fist for a fist bump*  
049; Ugh. Seven Hells, Dyo-

 

343; Sometimes you just have to let girls be girls.  
Clef; You realize she killed someone, right?

 

Doctor; Your son swore during math class.  
035; I’ll talk to him about it.  
035 to 590; What the fuck, dude?

 

{???}; I intended to poison your drink.  
{???}; But I lost track of which glass I poisoned. It could be either yours or mine.  
049; The way this interview is going, I hope it is mine.

 

“What do people mean when they say dummy thicc Minecraft Steve? Minecraft Steve doesn’t even have an ass!”  
-035

 

“I’m going to stab a windmill.”  
-035

 

191; Hey, Uncle Able, where do babies come from?  
073; Just tell her it was a stork.  
076; Your mom fucked a stork, my dude.  
073; Able NO-

 

Murder crocodile; Hey, kid, what do you call a duck with fangs?  
053; A FUCK!  
Murder crocodile; …

 

134; Papa, how do I get revenge on someone?  
049; The best thing you can do is forgive and forget.  
134; …  
134; Hey Sock, how do I get revenge on people?

 

073; Why did you stab Clef? I mean, not that I object, but still.  
076; You should’ve heard what he said.  
073; What did he say?  
076; What are you going to do, stab me?  
073; Understandable.

 

*Police sirens in the distance*  
590, who has never done anything wrong in his entire life; Oh god… they’ve found me.  
035, the one who actually did it; You better run, my dude.

 

073; English regularly adds -ed to the end of words to denote the past tense so it’s obviously “yeeted”  
035; No, it’s YOTE.  
073; Why? Are you saying it’s like “smite/smote”? Well, I hate to break it to you but the present form is yEEt not yITE.  
035; 049, what do you think?  
049, rubbing his chin; Have you considered yaught?

 

‘Are you decent?’ Well, not morally. But I’m dressed, if that’s what you’re asking.  
-035

 

“The quickest way to a man’s heart is through the fourth and fifth ribs.”  
-049

 

049-J; Reach into the bag, my brother! Reach into thre great unknown!  
049; *reluctantly reaches into bag*  
049-J; *screams*  
049; *screams*  
Entire foundation; *screams*  
Gavin; *screams*  
049; Calm down, calm down! It’s just a shoe!  
049; But wait, why did you scream?  
049-J; Because I could.

 

Able, to Cain; Congratulations, you managed to un-fuck a situation you originally fucked up!

 

“As an older sister, I can confirm we are the backbone of society and deserve financial compensation.”  
-105

 

076; When was the last time you slept?  
073, surrounded by empty coffee cups; What month is it?

 

073; *sitting in stunned silence.*  
076; great. We broke him.  
Bright; Have you tried turning him off and back on again?

 

049; bonjour, ça va bien?  
035; fuck outta here with that shit I don’t speak croissant

 

073; Able keeps stabbing me.  
035; So stab him back. Maybe that’s how he says hello.

076; Cain never stabs me back!  
035; So stab him harder.

 

035; I’ve got no skin to hold me down, to make me fret and make me frown! I had skin but now I’m free, there is no skin on me!  
049; *sighs* I used to know what it was like to be happy.

 

Bright; What are you guys afraid of?  
134; Geese.  
040; Cuttlefish.  
706; The inevitability of death.  
191; … 706

 

Cain; *stabs Able*  
Able; This is why God doesn’t fucking love you!

 

035, loudly; FUCK YOU, GOATMAN!  
049, under his breath; Oh Jesus Christ…

 

035; If you dress up like a cowboy, are you “ranch dressing?”  
049; Go to sleep.

 

035; Alright everyone scare tactics aren’t working. We have to resort to seduction.  
049; How about no?

 

“Seriously, you think you are “enlightened” by not vaccinating your kids? No, you’re a sheep following an ignorant playboy model!”  
-049

 

035; Is it easy? Not always. Is it worth it? YES!  
049; I don’t care if it’s worth it. You are not eating this entire pan of lasagna!

 

Bright; Any volunteers to have an iron bar shot through your head? We’ll pay you $10.

 

049 and 035; *in the middle of an extremely intense argument.*  
035, randomly; Let’s dance!! *killer tambourine solo*

 

035; Isn’t a hotdog just a sideways sandwich with round meat? Right guys?

 

076; What’s that? Off in the distance? Could it be??? But it is! My last fuck, disappearing over the horizon. Be free, old friend, be free.  
073; I literally only asked you to cease doing stupid things in front of 191.

 

2599; Can we get some chicken strips?  
706, without hesitation; Fuck yo chicken strips!

 

706; Road work ahead?  
706; Um, yeah, I sure hope it does!

 

706; And they were roommates!  
2599; Oh my god they were roommates.

 

073; Are you calling me a liar?  
076; I’m not calling you a truther!

 

Murder Croc; Can you make her stop quoting vine all the time?  
079; There’s not a force in the multiverse that can make 2599 stop quoting vine.

 

706; I’m telling you, Sock, I’m a thug.  
706; A rebellious child.  
706; *putting on sunglasses* My life be like ooh ah.  
706; *hits her hand on a doorway* oW

 

590; I have no idea what vore means and at this point, I’m too scared to ask.

 

706; I’m a lesbian.  
2599; I thought you were American?

 

073; Able gave me a get well soon card.  
073; I’m not sick or anything, he just thought I could be better.

 

049; I’ll be the bad cop, you be the good cop.  
035; Got it.

Later;

049, to 706; Did you seak out last night?  
035; Yeah, spill the tea, sis!

 

706; I hate being touched. The last time I touched a person was 2008 in hand to hand combat.  
053; 134 is literally hugging you right now.  
706; Stella is an angel, not a person. Ergo it doesn’t count.

 

035; 049 could probably murder me and I would thank him.  
Clef; We would thank him too.

 

049; I’ve created a screaming zombie.  
035; … but… but why?  
049; Well, it’s simple…  
049; …  
049; I actually have no idea.

 

049; You’re stupid.  
Bright; Is that the best you’ve got, bird boy?  
049; Just wait a bit. It’ll eat at you.

Later

Bright; Am I stupid?  
Clef; A little bit, yeah.  
Bright; Damn him.

 

Someone; *Shows 343 the salt and ice challenge.*  
343; *heavy sigh* I am //this close// to starting this planet all over.

 

“I mean like, I’m baby, but I can and will kill you.”  
-239

 

[Watching 1000 degree knife videos]  
035; Imagine stabbing someone with this knife!  
049; It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn’t bleed. Doesn’t seem very useful.  
682; If you want information, it is.  
053; Why would you stab someone when you can have toast?


End file.
